Category Archives: Life

Sting had it right.

Don’t stand So Close to Me.

I can’t fathom why anyone you speak to agrees that people encroaching on your personal space is one of the most annoying, uncomfortable intrusions and yet there still exist a large portion of the population that seems to have not come across the concept.

Why oh why do people do this? I couldn’t name ten people I’d like to smell the bodily odours of. Let alone soaking up the noxious fumes of random strangers.

How to deal with it is another thing. Ignore it? Bloody difficult as anytime you breathe out you’re likely to mist up their glasses. How about tutting and sighing? hmm..tricky. Could get nasty. Amazingly these same arseholes seem to be family members with the scabs that try to bum a fag off you in the street.

“Hey mate, got a spare fag?”

“No, no I haven’t.”

“You fuckin’ dick.”


Setting aside the argument I’ve got with the lack of manners, the implied brotherhood of ‘mates’ and the righteous indignation of a scab feeling superior (because that’s another post right there), they do seem to have a lot in common. Your new shadow pal quite often takes the huff when you try the seemingly innocent tactic of “excuse me, could you give me some space please? I’m claustrophobic.” It’s surprising to me the redness and anger that swarms into their face from being (God forbid) asked nicely to step back.

So how about stepping forward and leaving them plenty of space now you’ve vacated it? Nope, Your New Shadow comes as does your old shadow. Damn.

How about using your handbag/backpack/whatever as a barrier and just spreading your legs just that bit more? Encroach on their personal space? No? No. Because you get…..

“bit closer in’t you? Fuckin’ hell.”