In the film industry, your mistakes aren’t forgotten. Well, ok, they would be if reasonable time was given to forget them *cough* Spider-Man *cough cough* but these days, in the days of rebooting a franchise the year after it ends *cough* Resident Evil *cough* I think anything is fair game don’t you?
Good, I’m glad we’re all on board then. Or not, I’m not a fan either, but fuck it. Welcome to reboot/revision 3.0! In which I do the same shit over again, but pretend it’s something new and put it out there. *cough*Still bloody Spider-Man *cough* (sorry folks, I’ll drop the coughing business now, I’m going to hurt myself if I don’t).
So what’s new? Nothing.
What’s improved? Nothing.
So why bother? Because….well, all evidence of the last two years to the contrary I actually enjoy this shit. I mean, I’ve been away a while, I’ve seen many things, played many games, watched many films and travelled like, A LOT. I guess I thought I should probably be proactive about this blog again. I can’t promise I won’t curl up and hide like I did before, but I feel I’ve turned a few corners now, so maybe ….I dunno, let’s not pile on the pressure.
Anywho, let’s do a quick recap of some of the good shit i missed before I move on and post something thorough.
Call of Duty advanced warfare, infinite warfare, some other kind of shit warfare: cor blimey, this has gone downhill hasn’t it? Wants to become Unreal Tournament, failing miserably as can be attested by the incredibly obvious “we’re sorry” of the new one – ‘WWII’
The Nice Guys: so wanted to love this like I did Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but it’s an almost. I like it plenty, but it didn’t tickle all the funny bones like I wanted.
Age of Ultron: actually, gets a lot better once you get over the initial surprise of it not being the first one. I’ve now got a lot of love for this.
Stone Roses first new material in like, 20 years: well, nothing can hold up to that sort of wait can it Guns n’ Roses? But the second track they released, `beautiful thing’ was far superior to that other one I forget the name of. Coz it was shit.
Star Wars – the Force Awakens: the very definition of a soft reboot. All the stuff you loved, in a new wrapper. Has potential, but I guess we’ll wait for The Last Jedi to find out. As a standalone, not brilliant. Although Daisy Ridley reminds me of a very young Lena Headey, and that’s no bad thing.
Star Wars- the shit one about the death star plans where many bothans didnt die: Oops, reviewed it already right there. If I’m honest, I fell asleep within an hour but not concerned I’ve missed anything.
Oops, nearly missed one:
Batman vs Superman: the extended cut actually make it work a lot better, until the last cgi showdown. Nothing can save that from being a fucking calamity. Actually, may have to review this properly because Batman.
There’s so much more!
But that’s the way it goes. I can recap if anyone wanted me to (comments section kids!) but otherwise I’ll move on to new things.
If you came back to read this after a 2 year gap, much love. If you came because you like the name, also much love. If you came because you’re lost on the internet, piss off Dad.